Monday was my birthday.  Here's me...on my birthday...

It looks like my outfit came straight out of the 80's, Right????  And in case you are wondering, those are cats on my t-shirt.  

I was on my way to celebrate my dear friend Barbara.  It wasn't Barbara's actual Birthday, it was her RE-Birthday!  Exactly one year ago, on my Birthday, Barbara received a new heart.  Monday we celebrated Barbara!

Isn't she beautiful???!!!  Barbara is amazing inside and out.  I love love love Barbara!

Dad Update:  On Tuesday, Dad had another appointment with his Cardiologist.  The Dr said his heart looks pretty good but thinks the medication may be causing his weakness...so....he changed his medication again.  Slowly but surely, it seems like Dad is making some progress.  Now we just have to work on changing his diet.  People keep telling me that he should be able to eat what he wants at his age.  They don't understand how detrimental sodium is to Dad's health. If he doesn't lower his salt intake, it is right back to the hospital.

Here's my sweet Mom watering her Petunias.  They are almost finished for the season.

Blossom is an expert beggar.  If I could teach her to stand on a street corner and hold up a sign...we'd be rich!

Balto is an expert at being lazy.

Whatever Balto.  Sleep tight.

Room 67

We brought Dad home from the hospital on Friday.  Friday was hard.  It was so hard being back in the cardiac op area (I have no idea what that room is called).  It is basically a big room that has a large desk in the middle.  The desk is surrounded by many little glass rooms that have heart patients awaiting or recovering from procedures.  We were in Room 67.  Room 67 is next to Room 66.  That's the room where Dad "left this world" as the doctor called it. 

Everyone was so sweet to us.  The nurses and the doctors all came by to see Dad and talked about how nice he is.  The nurses told us that "that day" (August 17th) was a "very, very bad day".  They all remembered the room he had been in.  I assumed that what happened to Dad that day was pretty common - apparently it was not and they have not forgotten it.  

I can't tell you how hard it was to be there.  I could feel all of the adrenaline running through my arms and legs and I just wanted to run.  Thankfully, they said he was the perfect patient and his heart was back in rhythm after only one shock.  After hugs from all of the nurses, we were on our way back to the cardiac floor.  

Dad is home and in good spirits however, he just can't seem to get any strength back.  He is very weak and he actually fell in a plant yesterday.  He told me it was a comfortable plant though....

On a much more fun note.....  An old high school friend, Miranda, texted me on Friday night and asked me to go to Festival in the Park on Saturday.  We weren't close friends in high school - we knew each other - but we didn't have any classes together.   Miranda was much more popular than I was and was also in the smarter classes.  However, we have gotten in touch through Facebook and Instagram over the years and when I'm with her, I feel like I have known her my whole life.  A night out with a good friend was just what I needed.  

We enjoyed looking around but we didn't buy anything.  Wait, that isn't true...Miranda bought some kettle corn.  

For no reason at all, here are some totally random pictures from today.  

"How to Beg" by Blossom Lanford:

"How to Sleep on a Couch Properly" by Balto Lanford:

Looking forward to tomorrow night - I'm going to a party for a good friend who is celebrating her Re-Birthday.  It was one year ago tomorrow that she received a new heart!  She is a beautiful miracle.  

Home Sweet Home

After another tranquil morning at the beach yesterday, we made the 3 hour drive home.  I went straight to the hospital to see my dad.  

Dad is doing really well.  He finally seems like himself again.  His youngest sister, Zell, came by tonight and the three of us had so much fun talking and laughing.  Dad is the 7th out of 9 children.  Zell is #9.  Sidebar:  My mom is child #14 in her family.  I come from 2 big Southern farming families!  

Tomorrow the doctor is going to shock dad's heart back into rhythm (hopefully).  After all that we have been through, it is hard not to be anxious.  Words can't describe what it is like sitting in a hospital waiting room and hearing the Code Blue call to your loved one's room.  I never want to experience that again.  

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed upon you, because he trusts in You."   Isaiah 26:3

Far From Home

I'm actually only 3 hours from home but today, it feels like I'm on an entirely different planet.

Just before I took this picture, I received a text from my brother that my Dad was back in the hospital.  He was taken by ambulance last night at 1:00 a.m.  Even though my heart and prayers have been with Dad and my family all day, selfishly, I'm glad I wasn't there.  My heart is weary from all of the emergency trips and hospital stays that my Dad has endured since June.  I'm tired of watching my dad suffer and my mom worry.  I'm tired of all of the "what-ifs" and "if only's".  I'm tired of the tears (I cry easily).  I'm tired of being a grown up.  I'm glad we will be headed home tomorrow so that I can hug my dad and support my mom.

If you look close enough, you can see Scott sitting on the beach.   And...if you listen close enough, you might be able to hear the waves.  

While I will miss the salt air and the ocean waves....I can't wait to get home and see these two furry faces.

Time for some chocolate milk.  

In A Car On A Boat

Today I rode in a car on a boat.

Scott and I decided to go to the aquarium at Fort Fisher. We knew that we were taking a ferry however, we thought it was like the ferries that go to Bald Head Island.  As we got ready to park our car and get on the boat, they told us to drive it on the boat.  Indulge me while I post some photos.

That large body of water you see is the Cape Fear River.

There's our car in the background.  I know I'm a little goofy but something seems funny to me about my car being on a boat!  This bird rode with us the entire 30 minute trip.

That time I put my head in an alligator's mouth

I realize this really isn't their face but it sure looks like it

What a difference a day makes.  Hurricane Jose has moved North and the ocean at Holden Beach is calm again.

Coming tomorrow....I'm going to Calabash, North Carolina for the first time in several years.  Calabash is the "Seafood Capital of the World".  I can't wait!!!!  

September Sunday

Look who came to visit my dad today.  Balto isn't allowed on beds but he couldn't resist saying hello to his Papaw.  He actually started out beside him with his head on his pillow.  

Since Dad is doing a little better, Scott and I decided to visit the beach for a few days.  We drove down this afternoon and here we are....

We are staying in the Turtle Shack

I'm looking forward to swimming in the private pool tomorrow.  

Thankfully we are missing Hurricane Jose but he left a few clouds tonight.

"Let the sea set you free."

I'm In Therapy

My shoes are never where I leave them.  

This picture is actually a little misleading.  Balto is the one that steals my shoes and carries them all over the house.  Blossom just happened to sit beside this one and use it as a pillow.  

So the title...yes, I am in therapy.  I decided to go to a therapist because after all of these years, I'm tired of being afraid to fly on a plane or drive across a big bridge.  I also get very nervous driving on the interstate.  Praise God my company's insurance policy covers "behavioral therapy" 100% with no co-pay and no maximum!  After doing a little research, I settled on Debbie Breen.  I knew after my first session that she was the therapist I had waited my whole life for.  

I have no doubt that God put Debbie in my life at this exact time for a reason.  The day after our first session, Mom called in the middle of the night to say we needed to take Dad to the Emergency Room.      You can read the rest of the story in my previous posts.  Debbie has walked me through every step of this season.  Her insight and advice has been priceless and I have learned so much.  During this season, I have found that I am a lot stronger than I ever imagined I was and, I am gaining the tools and confidence to handle life's unexpected bumps.  

To help conquer my Social Anxiety and help me gain confidence, Debbie is going to have me join Toastmasters and give a speech in front of a group of people.  At first, just the thought of giving a speech was causing my heart to race and my brain to feel dizzy.  Driving home from her office I decided, "Why the heck not???"  I'm so tired of being afraid of everything.  I want to stand up to my biggest fears and punch them in the face.  Bring on the fear...I'm going to give that speech!  It might not be a very good speech and I'll probably sweat out of my head but I will stand there and I will be brave.  

Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.  Joshua 1:9

Thank You

I'm back.  First of all, I would like to say THANK YOU to everyone who has taken time out of their busy schedule to visit, text, call, email etc. over these very difficult weeks.  I feel very humbled and thankful to know that I have such wonderful family, friends & church family.    

Dad is doing better....finally.  He has a very long way to go but he started eating better yesterday and seems to be getting a little strength back.  His cardiologist said, "When you leave this world and we have to bring you back, it takes time to get your strength back".  To be honest, I don't know if he is a terrible cardiologist for killing dad or a brilliant cardiologist for bringing him back while so many things were going wrong.  

Dad's heart is going in and out of rhythm so they are watching him closely.  He has a Nurse, Physical Therapist and an Occupational Therapist that come to the house.  Mom is very tired and looking forward to the day that she can come and go whenever she needs to.   Kevin, Rana, Scott & I are all pitching in to make life as easy as possible for the two of them.  

In other news, Daniel asked me to go on an acorn walk. He has decided that I have the best acorns in the world at my house.   That being said, he really has nowhere else to compare to.  

Here are a couple of pictures from the past 3 weeks. 

And thanks to my sweet Aunt Zell, I was able to go to the office long enough to watch the eclipse from the roof of our building.  It was a much needed break from the ICU.  Here is our eclipse party...

This is me with my buddy Nurse Wendy who works next door.  Wendy comes over every day to eat lunch and watch soaps with my boss and me.  

The news man said that everyone was looking at the eclipse with "joy and jubilation" so we decided to do that as well...

Oh and one last photo.  On August 15th, Scott and I celebrated 19 years of being married.  

And because this post has been a little heavy....here's something to make you smile: