Confession

I need to come clean about something.  I have NO idea what I'm doing.

I'm trying to help out my parents with everything but, I have no idea what I'm doing.  

I'm trying to help out with my niece and nephew but, I have no idea what I'm doing.  

My job....some day someone is going to figure out that I have no idea what I'm doing.  

My house....this is my kitchen right now.  

I had been doing so well with my housekeeping until earlier this summer.  I've gotten behind and I can't catch up.  I have no idea what to do!!!

I teach Laura on Sundays not because I'm qualified but because there is no one else to do it and I love her more than I can say.  This morning wasn't as easy as most.  When I left for home, I was a little frazzled.  Earlier, I had taken Laura to the bathroom when she decided to push 2 very little girls.  I was baffled.  She pushed the girls and then proceeded to giggle and spank herself.  I just have no idea how to deal with this.  The girls were old enough to realize that Laura is "different" but not old enough to understand why.  I wanted so badly to explain but I had no idea what to say.  I spent the rest of the hour trying to teach her in a classroom where some friends were decorating.  Laura would randomly shout out noises, giggle, and spank herself.  I asked them if they knew what I should do....they didn't.  On the drive home, the tape playing in my head was on loop saying, "I have no idea what I'm doing".  

On my way out the church door, someone stopped me to ask how Dad is doing.  I didn't exactly know what to say.  All I know is that I have no idea what I'm doing.  

I feel that way.  If you see me and I'm smiling...that is real; I am happy.  But I am more than happy.  I'm thankful and grateful and worried and scared and many so many other emotions all rolled into a giant Julie shaped blob.  

Here's a quick recap of last week...

If you read the last post, you know about the pacemaker.  What you don't know is that Scott kept Daniel while Mom and Dad were at the doctor's office.  Scott works from home so he has a lot of flexibility. They had a great day exploring Waxhaw together.  Scott even took Daniel to get ice cream at a shop that makes it right in front of you using liquid nitrogen.  Daniel loved it. 

Scott forgot to tell him to smile.  

I had left my label maker on my table and Daniel had a field day making labels.  He even made one  to wear on his shirt for his ice cream trip.  It says, "Hello My Name Is Daniel :-)". 

I told him to smile.  Maybe Scott was smart not to tell him to smile.   

Balto went to the Vet to get some vaccines on Saturday.  He put the brakes on his feet and wouldn't budge; they had to drag him to the back.  It was both hilarious and pitiful.  He lived.  

The dogs were supposed to be groomed Tuesday by a much recommended groomer that I had been on a very long waiting list for (6 months).  Mom informed me earlier today that Dad has a doctor appointment at that exact time.  I didn't tell her; I just canceled the grooming appointment.  The groomer said she can fit us in 6 weeks from now.  Ugh.  

I found a muscadine vine in my yard.  At first I thought they were very small plums.  When I smushed one and smelled it I knew right off...those are definitely muscadines (Scuppernongs).  I really like them although I could see how somebody would not.  

This is Lou.  Lou's parents work in an office down the hall.  When I stepped out of the bathroom on Friday, this was what I saw..

He's an old soul; very gentle and sweet.  He looks like a mix of my old dog Sadie and my brother's old dog Sophie.  I love Lou.  

Last night I went to my neighbor's house for dinner and a movie.  She made meatballs and we watched Show Dogs.  Her daughter Sam, 10, joined us (hence the dog movie).  

Today was a lazy day.  After church I came home, ate lunch, watched Golden Girls and took a nap.  This is what I do EVERY Sunday.  After that, I visited my parents.   

Oh, and I sat outside with the dogs...

Scott shared his yogurt.  

I wish I had something more fun or helpful or exciting to post but, if you've read this blog at all...you know that I'm not really any of those.  You also know that I have no idea what I'm doing.  

I'm just glad God knows what He is doing.  I will just work on taking it one day at a time and trusting Him with the rest.